![]() ![]() I think that we could really change the way that we talk about pregnancies and miscarriage and most of all we could elevate the bulk of the stigma that still seems to endure around miscarriage if we could talk about it more openly. But in reality there would be the exact same number but we would be aware of them. If more women felt able to announce their pregnancies earlier and towards the beginning of the pregnancy I think we would perceive that there are more miscarriages. ![]() I can say from experience that miscarriage, despite being common, is an astonishingly lonely experience. I think if you do feel able to talk about pregnancy and pregnancy loss, then if you can, it’s a good thing to do because women feel less alone. But most of us don’t realise that our friends or our loved ones were experiencing that because we didn’t know that in the first place. ![]() My only caveat to that is that I think some of the stigma around miscarriage is created by the fact that we don’t talk about pregnancy until three months because we know that around one in four women will have a miscarriage in her lifetime. Saying it out loud sort of helped with that. Also for me, an element of saying it over and over again made it feel more real because I’d spent 10 weeks trying to get used to the idea that I was going to have a baby and then I had to get used to the idea that I wasn’t going to have a baby. Actually when you’re in that place, first of all you feel pretty horrific, so telling people doesn’t really make that much of a difference and people are very willing to do that for you, to spare you that pain. I think you find a lot of people who say that if you tell people, you have to untell people. My family were the same, I told a couple of family members and they told the rest of the family. I let them know that I wanted other people to know and the message went round. It wasn’t something I particularly enjoyed, but all I had to do was send one WhatsApp message to each friend from each friendship group. Telling family and friends about the miscarriage wasn’t exactly a fun phone call to make. They said that there was basically nothing that could be done, that I was normal, it happens to one in four women, can’t be avoided, nothing I did, nothing anybody could have done, but I’m not pregnant anymore. You want to be missed, not resented.I thought I was 10 weeks pregnant but I was told that the pregnancy had stopped developing at six weeks and one day. What are the issues with announcing too late?Ī: One issue in announcing your pregnancy too late is that you will catch your workplace unprepared to cover your work during your maternity leave, which may force your boss and your coworkers to scramble. Q: You mentioned the risk of miscarriage when announcing too early. Every woman's work, home and health situation is different, so take into consideration what's right for you and schedule a comfortable time to chat privately with your boss when the time is right for you. Another factor to consider, especially late in your pregnancy, is your job's stress level or travel requirements. That's a great opportunity to drive home the message that you are getting the job done even while pregnant. Are you about to complete a long-term project? You might want to wait to announce your pregnancy upon the project's completion or at least an important stage of it. It will also give your boss time to start planning for your maternity leave.Ī: One factor to consider is what you're working on. This will help keep your news under wraps until you're ready to tell it - and will give you enough time to start taking advantage of any services provided by your employer (like prenatal education). But after that point, consider telling your boss before you start showing. Q: When do you suggest a working mom-to-be tell her boss that she is pregnant?Ī: For an uncomplicated pregnancy, most women wait until after the first trimester when the risk of miscarriage drops significantly. I recently spoke to Jennifer Owens, editorial director at Working Mother magazine, about her thoughts and tips for when to share this relatively private news in a professional setting. There's no official rule on when to announce it, but there are some factors that might play into the timing. Disclosing a pregnancy can be daunting for some women, particularly if they're not working in a maternity-friendly office. ![]()
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